Brennan's Journey

The support Brennan has received is overwhelming and incredibly humbling. There is a growing number of people who are asking us how they can help Brennan through his journey and our main focus and priority continues to be prayer for Brennan, his overall health and for the doctors. But so many people are wanting to help even more. For those that feel led to help Brennan financially, a "donate" button is now available. It is linked directly to a special account for Brennan and his long road ahead. Any amount is greatly appreciated. I wish there were words to express our gratitude for all of the support and prayers B is receiving. Thank you to all and God Bless.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010


Every now and then at work I find myself mysteriously (assigned to) sitting behind a desk, alone. As a result I am immediately reminded why I chose the profession that I did, to avoid sitting behind a desk. I listen to the hum of all the machines within my reach; three phones, a computer, a printer, a video monitor etc. The most interesting part is dealing with yes, the public. I know, I did sign up for that but remind me some day to tell you some desk stories and you will understand. When I'm not dealing with these variety of "issues", it's quiet, which doesn't come that often in my line of work. It's these times when my mind is silenced that it starts to take a journey to what's in store in the coming months.

I realize that is has been a while since we have updated everyone on what's going on with Brennan's scheduled surgeries this coming year. I don't know how many people read our blog but it is nice to refer people to something to keep them updated. Plus, it is a good form of therapy for me to talk (or type) about it.

Brennan's CT scan results from November show that he is a candidate for Atresia Repair (ear canal/drum formation). He scored an 8 out of 10 meaning that the inner ear structures are formed enough to go forward with surgery. The doctor (Dr. Roberson- Palo Alto, Ca.) who is going to perform the surgery is the one who read his scan and provided the score based on what is present inside our little guy's head. No one scores a 10 and an 8 or 9 is very good in respect to results of the surgery. They will drill a hole in his mastoid bone and use a skin graft from his scalp to create an ear canal and ear drum. In other words, pray pray pray, even as I type this I am terrified.

If it would be possible for B to have better hearing following surgery for the sake of going through school and improved sound localization, then it seemed like a clear choice. Even if he didn't qualify for the surgery based on the CT scan, a future step would have been a surgically implanted hearing aid which improves sound as well.

Kim, who somehow makes every phone call and writes every email, scheduled this surgery for May 27th, 2010 with the Microtia (ear reconstruction) surgery to follow in October 2010. So it eventually came time to start asking some more questions with a major surgery approaching in May. How long is recovery? What is involved in recovery and healing with the new ear canal and large skin graft on my son's head? Another topic that was of major interest was how long B had to stay out of water. Ya know, the pool, the beach, the sprinklers, etc. After all the surgery is at the end of May, prime time for So Cal heat and lots of swimming. The verdict? 8 weeks out of water. Yup, 8 weeks. So all of June and all of July. Ouch. Anyone else see a problem here. We did too. If you know B you know that kid is a fish. He LOVES to swim or should I say jump into anything with water including puddles (of any size), swimming pools, the ocean, lakes, sprinklers (anywhere) and if you're not careful, large decorative fountains. So this posed a problem. We are already trying to think of ways to make this whole experience as painless and forgettable as possible. Now after this major surgery we would have to deny him one of his loves, water. Summer birthday parties, time at Grandma's house at the pool, running through the sprinklers and the list goes on and on. Oh yea, and "you can't go in the water buddy, but your sister can." Can't even go there.

We weren't even sure if we could even re-schedule the surgery and if we couldn't then OK, we would make it work. But if it was possible to do so then great. The Lord answered yet another prayer. Brennan's Atresia surgery is now scheduled for October 7th, 2010 with the Microtia surgery in the books for February or March of 2011. I put this in bold so that you can all put it in your calendars and remember to pray for us as a family during this time. We know the Lord will be watching over us and we appreciate everyone's prayers.

Two surgeries in two different calendar years brought into question the cost associated with our insurance company . Kim checked on that as well and we learned that a carry-over would be in effect and both surgeries would be counted as taking place in the same calendar year ultimately saving us some money. We think re-scheduling will make his recovery much more bearable with respect to his water adventures and he will be all healed (with a new ear) by summer of 2011 ready to splash into a pool near you.

It's important to mention that we went into the CT scan not really knowing what to expect and were really, truly trusting God with what He would have for B since his little ear was God's idea in the first place. You see, when you have a child born with an abnormality of any kind, big or small, you are quickly reminded after their birth that God is, and always will be, in complete control. There are a lot of things, present and future, that are just not in your hands including test results of this nature. We don't have a say, as much as we want one, we just don't. We didn't know what his scan results would be but God did before he even laid down on that table. In this case the outcome would determine where we go next. It was merely what determined the left or right turn in the road, one not necessarily being better than the other. The decision was made for us in God's design of B. If he didn't have the qualifying score, everything is the same and B is still B. We would be going down a different road and our blog posts and prayer requests would be a little different but it's all in His plan for B. It's comforting to know that regardless of the condition or abnormality for anyone, it is God's design and He always has a plan, however difficult it may be. What God created in my little boy's head he did for a reason and He reminds me every day when I look into B's eyes. B is just another one of God's little miracles flawlessly made in His image and the best part is I get to be his daddy.

In the meantime B is a talker. He shares new words and phrases daily and he's growing like a weed. He loves to hang out with mommy and do puzzles, play games, color and of course go to the park. One of his new favorite things to do is whatever his sister is doing. They are gonna be best buds in the coming years and it's fun to watch except for when he is taking away anything she is playing with or she is wanting to do the same to him. She's almost walking so the warning I've been giving him since before she was born is about become reality.

Stay tuned for more surgery updates (from "the desk") and thank you for your prayers, they are greatly appreciated.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

slow down

I arrived home at about 10pm tonight, about 2 1/2 hours later than usual. I walked in the front door to a quiet and ever so still house. I must say that the favorite part of every work day I have is coming home. It's warm, quiet (compared to the rest of my day) and I can hear the sounds of little footsteps from the ceiling above me running toward the stairs. But the little footsteps will have to wait for tomorrow for tonight I had to work late.
The little ones were sleeping and it hit me that I hadn't seen my lil pnut since Tuesday. Oh how I missed holding her but that would come soon enough. I heard B in his room moving around in his bed. I would have to wait until tomorrow to hear him yell "daddy!" as he runs into my arms. Then I walked into our bedroom where the love of my life was in bed. She had fallen asleep reading a book, something she does on a regular basis. She had tried so hard to stay awake to greet me when I came home, something I value more than most. I kissed her on the forehead and said, "I love you, I love you." She was spent and I come home late and I think I'm tired. I will never comprehend her ability to work as hard as she does, every hour of every day, only to never complain and use creativity to be the most committed and dedicated mother I have ever known. No one, including me, can ever understand how truly strong and brave she is. It is, and always will be, beyond me. I couldn't have asked for anything more in a wife and a mother of my children. I love her and admire her more than she will ever know. I don't deserve her. I turned off the light and walked out of the room.

I stood in the hallway for a moment and looked at all three rooms where the loves of my life were so quietly at peace and resting. I thought to myself, "It can't possibly get any better than this." But I know it will. I thanked God for our salvation in him, His Love for us, the roof over our heads and the jobs he has provided so that I can support our family and allow Kim to stay home. I was flooded with thoughts of how far we have come and where we have come from. It's amazing how clearly God makes Himself evident when you stop, slow down and think, something I don't do enough.

So for now I sit, typing, thinking and giving thanks. The heater just kicked on funny enough. Another one of those little but significant things we take for granted in the speed of life. My Lord God, help me to slow down. Slow down so I won't miss who You are every day, hour and minute I am alive.

Time for bed, can't wait to see what God has in store for us tomorrow and every day to come. You should slow down too. Don't wanna miss anything...