Last Ultrasound

We had our doctor appt. today and our "little fighter" had no heartbeat. It was so sad to see the little baby in the sac, just so still. I would have been almost 10 weeks along. The baby was measuring small and the doctor said the baby's spine looked swollen, which could have meant that the baby had issues.
I am doing okay right now. I had my good crying moment in the doctors office after we found out the news. We were able to wait in the room while the doctor's office scheduled a procedure for me.
We then went to the hospital to sign pre-op papers and to get my pre-op blood work done.
Tomorrow, I will be going to the outpatient center next to our hospital. The procedure is scheduled for 2:00pm. We have to go in at 12:30 for prep. It's a quick procedure but I have to be put under for it. I will probably be in recovery for an hour or 2 and then released to go home. I can't eat or drink anything after 6am tomorrow... ugh

So, of course there are many emotions going on with me. I am doing okay though. I had my time to grieve and will probably have more moments ahead. But, when I look into my kiddos faces, I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mommy of 2 such wonderful angels. I know God had my whole journey with this little one planned and wanted me to go through this, it's just hard going through it at the moment. It was hard to go through the pregnancy symptoms, weight gain, bed rest and not exercising, laying around and not being able to play with my kiddos, not clean the house, unable to do the usual things I'm used to, tons of bloodwork, 5 doctors appts. and ultrasounds... and see that it all ended up to this. My faith has been tested in the past 7 months and even more recently, but I'm fully confident that God is love and has us going through everything for a reason.
And I do look forward to seeing our little one in heaven one day!