The Givens Family

WOW... it's been a while...

2012-01-17T21:17:00.001-08:00

So, it's been a LONG time. I noticed my last post was on Thanksgiving. Let's see... so much has happened between then and now (aside from Christmas and the New Year of course :) I will do an update soon, and maybe even get some pictures from my camera, loaded onto my computer to put on the blog... soon, I promise! But just know, we are doing well!!! I'll be writing more soon!!!

Thankful

2011-11-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

These 2 remind me daily of what really matters in life!

May you all have a blessed Thanksgiving month and remember all the things to be thankful for!!!

God Bless!

Surgery Anniversary!

2011-10-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today marks 1 year since Brennan's Atresia Repair surgery (creating an ear canal and ear drum)!!!

I can't believe it has been 1 whole year. In the middle of all the surgery stuff, I would have never thought we would have made it this far with such great results! It was so frightening to go into surgery knowing about all the surgical risks involved, possible facial paralysis, possible infections and even the surgery not helping at all. Through lots of prayer, we went into the surgery process completely at peace trusting that God would take care of our little boy! We have been so pleased with the outcome! His hearing as changed dramatically, observed by us (of course), my family, friends and even his preschool teachers! We are so thankful for the friends and family who lifted us up in prayer throughout this journey. We are so thankful for the countless people who helped us financially. We are so thankful for the doctors and their staff who have made this surgery even possible. We praise God for his love for us even when I had my selfish, doubting moments. Praise be to God!

6 Months Post-Op

2011-09-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

We had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Lewin today. I still can't believe it has been almost 7 months since his "New Ear" surgery.
It was a quick appt. They took different pictures from different angles. Brennan doesn't have to wear tape on his arm anymore! AND... he probably won't need the "stage 2"/second surgery!!! It's such great news. Dr. Lewin said that we will see how his ears look as he gets older and we can decide then if we need to make any changes, but for now, it looks great and she doesn't think she will need to do any touch-ups!!! We are so excited!!! His right ear technically has stage 1 microtia so she couldn't match his new ear perfectly to it, so there will be a difference with both ears... but that's fine with us. We don't expect perfection. We just wanted to give him 2 ears and we are so very pleased with how it looks. We will just wait and see when he grows up if she can do anything "non-surgery" related that might help match his 2 ears better.
Also, we don't have to have another appt. until 6 months from now (his 1 year surgery anniversary), then once a year after that.
Here are a few picts from today...

This is one of his pictures from Febuary, 1 month before his surgery. Notice his "little ear"

I needed to pin some of his hair back for the pictues to show his ears better

He looks thrilled doesn't he? :)

Taking pictures

And a picture with Dr. Lewin of course!!!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers this past year. It's almost been 1 year since his first surgery. We are so thankful that his hearing has improved and his new ear is healing perfectly. We've had a tough year but seeing how well Brennan has done has been a huge encouragement to me and strengthened my hope! Thanks for taking part in our precious little guy's life!!!

PERRY!!!

2011-09-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Talk about spontaneous... I didn't even know that "Disney's Live Phineas and Ferb Show" was touring around here. I saw a post on facebook from a friend of their son waiting for the show to start. WHAT???... Phineas and Ferb??? Live show??? Brennan's FAVORITE show ever... I had to check it out. Joel got Brennan and I tickets for the next night's show! My mom watched Faith for us and I took Brennan for a surprise adventure! It was about an hour away and he had no idea where we were going. We wore our matching "Perry the Platypus" and were on our way!!!...

in the theater with our matching shirts

He brought his Perry friend with us

Before the show, we grabbed a bite to eat... or should I say HUGE PIZZA!

Yeah, we were hungry :)

In the lobby waiting to go in... lots of people wearing Phineas and Ferb shirts... yet he still has no idea :)

Waiting for the show to start... now he thinks it's going to be a movie... ha ha

7th row... good seats!!!

I made a sign for him to hold up :)

Oh yeah!!! Brennan was in shock through the whole thing! He did his "Brennan Bounce" (jumping up and down shaking his arms in the air) the whole time

Perry (or as B still calls him "Kerry") and Dr. Doofenshmirtz

The characters were so funny :) They used a pre-recording of the voices etc... so everything was just like the actual show

After the show... happy boy!

Picture with his favorite character!

Right next to the stage

I'm so glad we were able to go and that it worked out so last minute. I even snuck in a few video clips so Brennan can rewatch a few of his favorite scenes over and over again!

Field Trip

2011-09-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

Brennan had a field trip today with his Tuesday Preschool class at church. We took a train down to Union Station and did some shopping and sight seeing, then took the train back.
Brennan LOVED it!!!

Some of the boys waiting for the train

Lil Pnut got to tag along for the ride!

Family Pict while waiting for the train

Pict with daddy

There it is!

Waiting for it to stop

All Aboard!!!

2nd level seating!

Here we go!!!

Excited to go!

Me and my cutie!

Yipee!!!

We're here! Time to get off!

All the kids!

Here we are!!!

The whole group!

Picking out a toy... he liked the monster trucks... but got what he really wanted... a guitar!!!

Looking at all the toys with his friends

Checking out the city's old fire station

Picture with friends

Taking a break before we head back to the train

Taking a seat at the train station

Bye bye LA!

Year 2 of Cubbies

2011-09-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

Cubbies started tonight! Brennan was excited to go! Faith is in the nursery when we go because I help out with the games for the older kids. They are doing an Awana program in Faith's class too (Bible stories, verses...) ... so she is considered a "Puggle".... so I have a Cubbie and a Puggle :)

In his new class!

My Cubbie!

My Puggle!

Love Em to Pieces!!!

6 Months!

2011-09-01T13:57:00.001-07:00

Today marks 6 MONTHS since Brennan's special ear surgery!
I seriously cannot believe it has already been 6 months. The surgery process was one of the hardest things we have been through. First, making the huge decision to have surgery. Second, dealing with insurance and prepping ourselves emotionally, financially, ... Third, waiting during the 10 hour procedure. Fourth, the healing process.... but it's been 6 months and we made it!!!
Brennan is doing great! When you look at this picture below... you can't even tell which ear it is can you???!!!

Here is his beautiful new ear!!!

Here is another cool view!

Here is his other ear to show the difference

close up!

Another view

The doctor used skin from under his arm to cover his new ear. He will have a cool story to tell his buddies when he is older :)

Here is the scar from the surgery, it is healing so well!

And a last one of my cuties!!!

Grace Kids

2011-08-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

Brennan started his weekly preschool at church today. It's every Tuesday for 3 hours and is a "mommy and me" preschool! Faith gets to be in the nursery while I spend one-on-one time with Brennan in his class. It was so fun! He can't wait to go back again next week!

Me and the kiddos before class

My cuties!

LOVE Em!

Pnut in her nursery class

Finding his name

Putting his name in the mailbox

Putting a sticker by his name to sign in for the day

Writing his name with his friend Maddy

Working on the letter "A"

Sorting colored apples

Made "Mr. Apple"

Snack time... yum yum

Picture day... snuck in a few with my camera :)

Going upstairs with the class

Singing their goodbye song

Sniff Sniff...

2011-08-15T13:39:00.001-07:00

So, our little guy just started his last year of preschool... Sniff, Sniff...
He's been in my little "bubble" for almost 6 months since his last surgery. It was hard to let him go.
When I picked him up after school he said, I quote, "I can't wait for another day of my preschool, that was awesome!"
ha ha... I'm glad he is excited!

1st day pictures!

LUV EM!!!

My Crazies

2011-08-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Brennan now has a new request everytime I take a picture of them... he wants a silly picture. So now when I take a picture of the kiddos, they do a silly pose for another picture.

With our difficult and emotional time in our family right now, it's nice to have some silliness in our life... thank God for the innocence and pure joy that kids bring!

Here are a few of their silly photos...

Cousins

2011-07-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

We are on vacation this week at a beach house with the whole family: Joel's sister, Beth, and her husband Keith and 2 kids Jessica and Gunnar. Joel's brother, Tommy, and his wife Kim and 3 kids Anna, Isaiah, and Amaya, and Joel's parents. It's a full house but crazy fun!!! Here are a couple pictures of the cousins!

4th of July and ALS ride/walk

2011-07-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

We've had lots of fun this week!
For the 4th, we started the day with a kiddie K run for B, a 5k race for me, and a parade right after!

B posing for the picture

He got to meet the Chick-fil-a Cow

About to start the kiddie K, Joel is on the far left with B

Right before it starts

And after, showing off his medal! He didn't stop the whole time, he just kept running!!!

During my 5k run with the kiddos! It feels so good to be running again!

And after the race!

Watching the local parade in town! She's such a cutie!

B's favorite part of the parade: the race cars

Pnuts favorite part: the "princesses" (city's beauty queens)

Dodger game that night with Joel's family... she is such a ham!

The house gets very noisy with these two... totally worth it because they are having so much fun!

2 times this week at our local amusement park! It's about a 5 minute drive to get there, we just got season passes, I have a parking pass for the whole year, the kiddie land is never crowded in the evening... perfect way to have fun with the kiddos!!!

Joel and I were able to go away for the weekend!!! It's been over a year since just the 2 of us have been away. With the circumstances that we have been given this past year, we just haven't been able to get some time away. There was a Central Coast ALS Century ride and 3 mile walk that Joel had signed us up for. We were able to spend Fri-Sun in the beautiful beach area! My mom was able to watch the kiddos for us at our house. I was a little nervous leaving because it's the first time B has been out of my sight longer than a couple hours since his first surgery in October. But, I have learned many things in the past months, one being that God is in control and I need to "let go." So, I did... I let go of my fears and worries and just trusted that B would be okay!

We arrived Friday afternoon and we were able to hang out in town that night. The 100 mile bike ride started at 7:00am on Sat. Our hotel was only 1 street away so I was able to be with Joel when he took off for his ride! My 3 mile walk didn't start until 1:00pm so I had the whole morning to myself! I got coffee (which is a rare thing for me), read a book by the beach, walked around and looked through some adorable beach stores, read some more on our hotel balcony... it was bliss!

The ALS walk was such an emotional experience. There were a few ALS patients in wheelchairs with their loved ones participating in the walk. There were some women and men with pictures of their loved ones on their shirts. I didn't know any one there and was prepared to walk by myself but ended up next to a wonderful woman named Martha. Someone had asked her if she knew anyone with ALS and I heard her say her dad had passed away 2 years ago from the disease. I walked over to her and told her about my father in law and we held each other and just started crying. God really had our meeting planned!!! She is a believer in Christ and we talked the whole walk... crying and laughing together. She was such an encouragement!

Joel wasn't doing the ride to race for time or speed. He was doing the ride to raise money for the ALS cause and raise awareness of the disease. He finished in around 7 hours. I am so proud of him for completing the ride, especially because I know it was so important for him to do.

We stayed in town one more night and left this afternoon and came home tonight! I really missed our kiddos! It's great to be home as a family of 4 again! I did learn how important little getaway trips are though and can't wait for the next one!

Joel before the ride

Love his jersey!

About to start

A raise of hands for those who know someone who is or was affected with ALS, and a moment of silence (a very emotional moment)

And he's off!

The sign I made for my shirt and my backpack

One of the signs along the course

After the ride/walk

My new friend Martha

Martha's husband did a ride too, here is all 4 of us

This is what I did for a few hours! So wonderful!

One of the gifts we got the kiddos from our trip. Since they love to help me bake, I got them their own aprons and hats!

Update and Summer Fun!

2011-07-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

It's been about 3 weeks since my D&C procedure and I feel completely back to normal. It's so weird to feel pregnant and have symptoms one day and then a couple days later it all just went away. I've still got some pregnancy pounds but I am not complaining at all. I feel so thankful that even though we lost the baby I feel confident that it is all part of God's plan, even though I may never truly know why God had us go through it.
We got a call from the doctor yesterday and were given the results of the testing they did to determine what may have happened with the pregnancy. The baby had a syndrome that is common in a lot of miscarriages. I did research on it: It is when the baby has 3 of every chromosome instead of the normal 2, which results in multiple birth defects, and most never make it to full term. The longest a baby has lived after birth, with this syndrome, is 10 months. And, it happens spontaneously, no known cause, and it doesn't affect any chances of it happening again with future pregnancies.
I am sad to know that he/she had such a horrible syndrome, but am thankful we were able to find out the cause of the baby not progressing.
I am also so thankful for all the encouragement and kind words from everyone! We are doing okay. Just trying to keep up with all our fun summer activities!!!...

Brennan at VBS at church!!! It was a great week at church and I got to help out in his class!

B tried out a dance class! He LOVES hip-hop... and boy has he got the moves! I got him in a free trial class to try. Here is a picture of the TV screen to watch the kids during class. The class was a little advanced for him (lots of memorizing moves) and he is more into "free styling". So, I'm on the hunt for another dance class for him.

Playing "mad birds" (angry birds) with Papa on his ipad

We love going to the mall before it opens! The play area is usually empty!

Since Brennan is cleared for water activities... he started swim lessons! And boy does he love it!

So, we decided to get a "mini-pool" for our yard! He LOVES it! Faith...not so sure yet :)

Our friends had free passes to our local amusement park! We just might have to get passes, the kids loved it!

Brennan and his friend Keira

We took the kiddos for a bike ride at the beach and stopped at a nearby park!

I had over 2 months of no exercise at all and was cleared to exercise 2 weeks ago. So, I've been trying to get back into it. Every year I do the local July 4th 5k... so I couldn't pass it up. So, wish me luck as I try and attempt to run it. My goal this year: run while pushing the kiddos and not walk, even if I have to run really slow :)

Have a great and safe 4th of July weekend!

Back to Palo Alto

2011-06-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

We had a doctor appt. scheduled for Brennan in Palo Alto for a check-up from his October surgery. With our recent family loss, I was very thankful to be able to go on this trip. It was nice to pack up and get away for a couple days and Joel and I were able to spend some quality one-on-one time with B. His doctor appt. was for a hearing test and cleaning of his ear canal. We decided to go up north and see the doctor who did the surgery because we have been very concerned about the size of his ear canal, hoping that it wasn't getting too small. The doctor was very pleased with his hearing test (improved from December) and he said his ear canal and ear drum look great! We are so relieved!

I am so thankful!!! A lot has happened in the past 7 months (B's 2 surgeries, Joel's broken leg in the midst of it all, Joel's dad's diagnosis and struggle with ALS, and our loss of a pregnancy) and I am constantly reminded about God's goodness in my life... especially when I am with my precious kiddos!
Pictures of our "special trip" with B...

Brennan's doctor appt... getting ready for his hearing test

Putting on the ear phones

Putting on the bone conduction device

Tools used to clean out B's ear canal

And the cleaning begins... he was such a good boy!

B and Doctor Roberson

Group shot!!! B will need his ear canal cleaned at least 2 times a year. We will be able to do that with an audiologist at Cedars in LA... much closer to home! Unless we have issues with B's ear, we won't need to go back up north for Dr. visits :) Bitter-sweet because we love Dr. Roberson... the drive is just too much though :)

At the hotel... B loved his roll-away bed!

Praying with Daddy

Reading a book before bed

Playing at a park near Stanford

Had to visit the local frozen yogurt store of course!

B's favorite thing to do! We surprised him with some miniature golf (the golf store, as B calls it :)

AND... B is now the proud owner of our little camera, so he was having a blast taking pictures of our trip... here is our trip seen through Brennan's eyes...

He's not too bad with the camera. Who knows, maybe he will have a blog of his own soon :)

Thanks for Praying!

2011-06-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an emotional day but it went okay. I won't go into details about the procedure, but I went in at 12:30 and they put an IV in my arm and prepped me for surgery at 2:00 Joel was able to stay with me the whole time until they wheeled me away. The anesthesiologist put something in my IV that made me really sleepy and I think I remember a gas mask being placed over my nose and... 30 minutes later, which felt like a blink of an eye, I woke up in the recovery room and Joel got to come in and be with me for an hour until I was able to leave.
I went home and relaxed on the couch with the company of my adorable kiddos... which distracted me a bit. I was very crampy throughout the night but I have felt great today. I am making myself take it easy, though it's hard to do. 4 weeks of bed rest has made me anxious to get back to my normal activities. I can start exercising in a week, which will literally start with a small walk, as I am very out of shape now :)
Physically, I'm exhausted and my body aches from non-activity. Emotionally, I am doing okay. I have my moments when I sit and try and process the past 5 weeks. It was obviously meant to be, it's just so sad to loose a child, even one that my body only held for about 10 weeks. I explained to Brennan what had happened and told him that the baby is now with Jesus in heaven. He was very excited to see the baby in heaven one day... and of course play his drums in heaven too... oh, the mind of a 4 year old!
I have received many encouraging notes, texts, facebook messages... from so many people and many sharing their similar stories with loss as well. It has also helped me through this time.
Thank you for your prayers! I can't say that enough!
My friend texted me this verse yesterday morning and I focused on it throughout pre-op...

"Worthy are You our Lord and Our God to receive glory and honor and power for You created all things and because of You they existed and were created." Rev. 4:11

Last Ultrasound

2011-06-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

We had our doctor appt. today and our "little fighter" had no heartbeat. It was so sad to see the little baby in the sac, just so still. I would have been almost 10 weeks along. The baby was measuring small and the doctor said the baby's spine looked swollen, which could have meant that the baby had issues.
I am doing okay right now. I had my good crying moment in the doctors office after we found out the news. We were able to wait in the room while the doctor's office scheduled a procedure for me.
We then went to the hospital to sign pre-op papers and to get my pre-op blood work done.
Tomorrow, I will be going to the outpatient center next to our hospital. The procedure is scheduled for 2:00pm. We have to go in at 12:30 for prep. It's a quick procedure but I have to be put under for it. I will probably be in recovery for an hour or 2 and then released to go home. I can't eat or drink anything after 6am tomorrow... ugh

So, of course there are many emotions going on with me. I am doing okay though. I had my time to grieve and will probably have more moments ahead. But, when I look into my kiddos faces, I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mommy of 2 such wonderful angels. I know God had my whole journey with this little one planned and wanted me to go through this, it's just hard going through it at the moment. It was hard to go through the pregnancy symptoms, weight gain, bed rest and not exercising, laying around and not being able to play with my kiddos, not clean the house, unable to do the usual things I'm used to, tons of bloodwork, 5 doctors appts. and ultrasounds... and see that it all ended up to this. My faith has been tested in the past 7 months and even more recently, but I'm fully confident that God is love and has us going through everything for a reason.
And I do look forward to seeing our little one in heaven one day!

AMAZING!!!

2011-06-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's been 3 months and Brennan's ear looks AMAZING! I keep saying that at every stage because it is just so AMAZING how it keeps looking. Here is a trip down memory lane... then how B's ear looks currently, at 3 months post-op...

Before any surgeries... I kind of miss his "little ear"

A couple months after his first surgery in October (Atresia Repair Surgery/ Dr. created an ear canal and ear drum)

1 week after his Medpor surgery in March... like I said..."AMAZING"

2 weeks after surgery

3 weeks after surgery (developed a rash on his face from some tape I applied, and a bacteria was developing on his ear so we started using a steroid cream)

1 month after surgery (still treating the rash on his face with cream)

4 1/2 weeks after surgery... rash almost gone on face and bacteria gone on ear!

7 weeks after surgery... AMAZING!!!

AND... NOW... 3 months after surgery... AMAZING!!!...

And here are some different views...

Such a cutie!

If you have been following my blog, maybe you notice that his "new/special" ear isn't sticking out as much. The swelling has gone down a lot and it has come in a bit more.

Back view

side/front view

side/back view

his right ear... just to show both

and his "new/special" ear

another view... they do this one at the dr.'s when they take pictures of the patients, so I thought I'd give it a try too

And the silly shot

As you can tell, I'm amazed at the healing of his new ear! Hope you enjoyed the pictures. Of course, I'll be taking more pictures of his very special ear as it heals even more. Thank you again for sharing in this AMAZING adventure with us!

And thank you for your prayers for our new journey as well!!!

Our "Little Fighter"

2011-05-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Update:

So I've nicknamed our little one: our "Little Fighter"...

We had our special Memorial Day dr. appointment today and I quote what my doctor said, "I'm surprised!" He is surprised the baby is still growing, the heartbeat is so strong and the blood clot is looking better!...

The blood clot (hard to tell in the ultrasound but it's the area to the left of the baby's sac) is still there, but it is more "organized" as the doctor put it. Which is actually a good thing. It is not as much like a bleed, more like a bruise now. It is lighter in color on the ultrasound than 4 days ago which means it could be slowly going away! There is still a risk since it is right next to the baby's sac but since the blood clot is changing in color, it's good news that it might just go away. My doctor says I need to be on a moderate bed rest now. I can do more things now but I need to lay down as often as I can.

So, I am 8 weeks today and already this was my 4th ultrasound and doctor visit. The baby is growing and measuring right. The heartbeat is strong and everything inside the sac seems to be developing fine. The doctor did say that the pressure from the clot could have caused and can still cause some structural issues with the baby (birth defects...) but we will know more in the second trimester.

There are so many emotions running through my mind (more 'bed rest' is hard with the kiddos, can't go on walks with the kiddos, can't play at the park with the kiddos, issues with the baby, still a possibility to miscarriage...) It's so difficult right now for me. As I deal with these thoughts and emotions I am reminded of God's goodness and kindness, even through the darkest moments.

I have another blood test tomorrow and another ultrasound at the end of next week... this is going to be a LONG wait...

Ps 56:4 "In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid..."

Dr. Appt

2011-05-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

So, it seems that my posts are all about Dr appts :) This next week marks B's 3 month post-op mark and his ear looks AMAZING. So, I will be taking pictures soon and posting them to show off how good it looks!

Thank you to those who have prayed for my doctor appt. We went in this morning and he did the ultrasound. The baby's heartbeat was beating nice and strong! .... although.... the blood clot has gotten bigger and it is pressed up against the sac, where the placenta is. So, that isn't good news at all. My doctor is so great and so calm and encouraging, even with not so good news. He explained that I have about a 50% chance to miscarry at this point. I'm on 'strict bed rest' until my next dr. appt on Monday. The office is closed on Monday but he wants to see me then, and not wait until Tuesday. So, I will be going in to have an ultrasound on Monday morning to see how everything is going. If I bleed or cramp at all until then, I need to call the doctor and go in.
So that means 4 days of laying on the couch/bed. Ugh... it's so hard to do, especially with 2 little kiddos at home. We were all packed and ready to go to Arizona for the weekend and leave after my doctor appt. but that planned changed. My sister and mom are helping a lot with the kids this weekend and I am so grateful for it.
So... that is that. Of course I have the natural feelings of "WHY? and REALLY? NOW? THIS IS NOT WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW...WITH ALL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH, NOW THIS?..." and for those of you who know me well, I'm always out and about with the kiddos, at different parks all the time. So this is a real challenge for me. I know God has his plan for us and this is all a part of it. Even though I have my moments of crying and doubts, I choose to put my whole trust in God and will glorify Him through this.
I'll update more on Monday. Hopefully good news... but it's all in God's plan so we'll see :)

To all my blog readers...

2011-05-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for checking in and reading about our experiences as a family. This blog was set up to document B's journey through his surgeries. It has been an amazing way to keep others connected to our story and now we are able to help others through our experiences. It's been so wonderful how God has blessed us with that! I hope I can help other families forever with our experiences with research, doctors, specialists and recovery.

We have definitely felt the love and prayers from everyone as we went through each surgery and recovery time. Brennan will still have one last surgery, date unknown as of now. The doctor likes to do a "touch up" surgery within a year of the medpor surgery to make it 'perfect'! She waits to see how the ear heals and does a "small" surgery to match the ear to the other ear as best as she can. We don't see the doctor for a couple more months but I'm sure we will discuss it then. I don't expect the surgery to be until the beginning of next year sometime. Until then, we are just letting B's ear heal and enjoying his new life with 2 ears and better hearing!!!

AND!!!...
We have exciting news as a family!!! We are expecting! We surprised our family on Mother's Day! We haven't announced it on Facebook yet but we have told people when the topic comes up. We had an ultrasound a week and a half ago and all that was visible was an empty sac. The doctor said it could mean that I was just earlier than we thought or something might be wrong. I did blood work on that day and had to wait the weekend to get the results. The doctor called on Monday and said my blood count was great. So, then we had to wait until our next ultrasound which was this past Thursday. We had the ultrasound, which measured me at 6 weeks and 4 days and it was hard to see much in the sac. But, the doctor did find a flickering of a heart beat!!! Then, he found 2 small blood clots right outside the gestational sac. He said if they get worse they can cause a miscarriage. But, there is a chance they can go away on their own too. We have another ultrasound next Thursday and until then I'm supposed to take it very easy and not exercise. Ugh.... no exercising... oh well, it's definitely worth it. So, I'm taking it easy and waiting for Thursday. It's another lesson on trusting in God and His plan for us.
So, if you can keep us in your prayers this week that would be AWESOME!!! Thanks.

4 years old!!!

2011-05-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

Geez it's been a while since I posted. Lots going on! B turned 4... oh my. He is at such a fun age because he totally got excited about his birthday and understands so much more about it. We had a family birthday party for him on Mother's Day. Then, on his actual birthday we took him to do his favorite thing... miniature golf, or as B calls it, the "golf store". Tomorrow we are meeting 2 of his friends at the movies for a movie birthday party! (notice it's a low key party for his 'healing') :) So, it's been a fun filled week of celebrating.

At our favorite place, the BEACH!!! I found an amazing location where NOBODY goes so it's kind of like a private beach. It's right next to the bathrooms and by a lifeguard tower, and seriously, everytime I run by it on the bike path, there is nobody on the beach by the area. So, I took the kids there to play in the sand and it was wonderful. All to ourselves!!! Hopefully it stays like this in the summer!

Our usual picture on the pier

Swing time!

Park time!

At our favorite park!

Opening his presents at the "golf store"

Golf time!

Never too early to learn :)

Seriously his favorite thing to do

this might be his sport

Cheese!

Picnic in the yard!

Helping mommy bake muffins for his preschool birthday party

Birthday boy!

Birthday at preschool!

Family birthday time at the Melting Pot!!! Yummy!

3D chalk glasses... but oh such a BIG DEAL!!! He is wearing glasses! It's a new thing to be able to wear glasses, now that he has 2 ears to hold them up!!!

Back to playing on our backyard swingset!!!

cousins over for B's birthday

He's wanted this for a long time!

I love his excitement!

I can't believe he is 4! He is such a blessing in our life! God has already done amazing things in his life and I can't wait to see what He has in store for our little guy!

2 Months

2011-04-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

We are at 2 months post-op and the doctor is very impressed with how well it looks already! We took B in yesterday for his 2 month post-op visit. If we lived far away, we would just email pictures to the doctor and have her check them out. Since we live 40 minutes away we are able to go in and see her. It's a huge advantage for living close to the dr. office and surgery center, we are so grateful.
We don't need to see the doctor again for 2 to 3 months, unless we feel we need to see her sooner. She is also just a phone call or email away.

We were able to meet another family at the office who is new to the Microtia world. They have an adorable 2 week old daughter and were meeting with the doctor for the first time. I was able to show them B's ear and talk with them about our experience and answer any questions they had. I just love being able to share our story and help out other families in their journey. I pray I get more opportunities to help out others and be able to be an encouragement in such a time of worry and overwhelming emotions .

I mean... look at this guy... he's such a cutie!!!

I look back at everything we have been through the past 4 years (oh my, he will be 4 in a couple weeks...seriously, where did the time go?) Through it all, we had so many questions and worries. We did a TON of research. We contacted other families who were in the same situation. We met with doctors and specialists.

Other than that, we just lived our lives making sure that B was treated the same as everyone else. We never "shielded" his 'little ear'. It was a part of who he was and we were proud of it. Praise the Lord he developed fine and has the cutest personality! Making the decision for surgery was probably the hardest decision we had to face. We are so thankful we did, especially because he his healing so great!

Now, it's just time for me to 'relax' and not be so paranoid about his new ear. I know bumps and bruises are imminent, especially with a little boy. This is a whole new range of emotions and 'worries' for me. Now it isn't the stress of a surgery, it is about protection and healing. This is a whole new growing experience for me and I am daily working on putting my full trust in God!

Thank you for your prayers with us on this long 4 year journey!

Cubbies Awards

2011-04-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

We started off Easter morning by looking to see if the Easter bunny made it to our house. Brennan was excited to see that the carrots were gone, which means the Easter bunny was here! They loved their Easter baskets. We had yummy cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then went to church. We then went to my mom's for dinner and had an Easter egg hunt in her backyard.

Tonight was Brennan's Awanna/Cubbies awards show. It was the last day of Cubbies for the year and they had certificates and awards for each Cubbie Kid! Brennan had to miss quite a bit of Cubbies in October, November and March due to his surgeries, but he was able to return each time and get back into the routine. He also memorized all the verses, even during his recovery time! He had a great time tonight. He couldn't contain himself on the stage. He was moving around so much. I think he's meant to be on stage... either a dancer or drummer... this kid always has a beat going on in his head :)

Brennan receiving his award

With his new cubbie bear for his vest

Brennan with his Cubbie table leader

My boy and I

B's certificate of completion

He loves his new Awana puzzle!

Pnut in her nursery class :)

Kiddos with Grandma

Easter!

2011-04-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

Of course it was Easter Egg Hunt time!!! Faith was sick and missed out on the one we had at the MOPS group I attend. She is finally better so we went to one at a park near where we live. There were areas for different age groups so Brennan and Faith got to 'hunt' in the same area together. My mom walked around with Pnut and I stayed with Brennan. It was so much fun!

Pnut and Grandma

Pausing for a picture

Cheese!

They both had a blast... AND... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!!!...

Faith had the 'Golden Egg'!!! It was inside one of her plastic eggs! She found it herself!!! She won the prize and got a basket with some cute things inside, including a pink stuffed bunny that she won't leave out of her sight!

We colored some eggs and will be decorating them in the morning

Dipping the eggs in color

Leaving out carrots for the Easter Bunny!!!

We left them outside by the front door so the Easter Bunny knows it's our house :)

The carrots are all gone and their baskets waiting for them!

It's nice to participate in the 'bunny' part of Easter, but we as a family are really celebrating the death and resurrection of of our Lord Jesus Christ. We want to make sure our kiddos know the real meaning of Easter and want to help them better understand our Savior and His sacrifice for us.

7 weeks post-op

2011-04-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

Yep... 7 weeks already. We see Dr. Lewin next week but I emailed her a few pictures today to see how she thinks it's healing. Here are a couple pictures. Looks good doesn't it!!! I'm still amazed at how great it looks! B loves it too!

I don't think I've ever posted pictures of his skin graft sites. There are different techniques for the surgery and the skin graft sites vary for each patient. Brennan's sites were under his left arm and behind his right ear.

Here B is showing his cool scar under his arm. I keep medical tape on it. When a piece falls off, I just reapply another one. Dr. Lewin recommends doing this for 6 months for less scarring.

There are usually 5 pieces of medical tape. A piece on the very bottom had fallen off so I took this picture before I applied another piece of tape, so you can see the scar. Looks good already doesn't it!

There was also skin taken from behind his right ear. I tried to get a good picture of it, but really it's just so hard to see the scar. It's almost invisible already!

And... a few things this week...

Took the kiddos on a run and ended up hiking a little at a nearby park. Here are the kids with a cool view! And yes... isn't B's outfit cool! Ha ha, got to love the button up shirt with workout shorts. I think it's the next fashion trend :)

Poor Pnut has croup so she has been home for a couple days. My friend Christy had her baby 3 weeks ago! I just love little AJ so much! Today B and I went for a walk with them. Of course we fed the ducks on the way. It was AJ's first time with the ducks... of course he slept through it all :)

Yeah, I know... B isn't supposed to be at the park yet. Hey, it's just the swing :) He was in heaven!

B enjoying a treat!

Lots of Plaid

2011-04-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

I thought I would show a little peek into Brennan's closet. I'm still not comfortable pulling a t-shirt over his head so he's wearing lots of button-ups these days. He had a ton from his last surgery in October and of course he needed to wear them for this surgery. If you scroll through all of our pictures through the blog since his surgery, you will see him sporting all the different ones... lots of plaid :) B has been wearing button-up pj's at night but they are way too warm when the weather is hot, which it is recently. So, I've cut a little slit in the back of a few of them to pull over his head :) When all is said and done, I plan on packing up all his button-up shirts in a box and donating them to another family whose son will be having surgery too.

We got EGGED!!!

2011-04-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day today so we decided to head on over to the beach! Joel was able to come and hang out with us and see our usual routine: run, hang out on the pier and play on the beach. Joel can't run yet so he rented a bike and rode along side us...I had my own peparazzi following us taking our pictures :)

I wish we lived close enough so I could run this path everyday :) But, I'll probably be here at least once or twice a week in the summer!

Stopped for a photo op!

Picture on the pier

Carousel on the pier

We got home and their was a basket by our front door filled with fun, yummy treats. There was a sign that said, "You've been egged"! The kid's loved it! They think the Easter Bunny brought it :) I have no idea who did it! The kids and I are talking about who we should go "egg" now!

What we have been up to...

2011-04-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

We have FINALLY been getting back into some what of a routine. B started back at Awana/Cubbies... of course there were only 3 weeks left. He started Preschool again! I pick him up 1/2 hour early because he can't do recess yet. About 3 more weeks and then he is cleared for all activities! Joel will probably start back at work in a couple weeks. He's been off work for almost 6 months. His leg is healing more. He is still doing his physical therapy to make it stronger. Joel's parents are still struggling with his dad's ALS. The challenges continue to mount and we are helping them out as much as we can. The kid's love their grandma and papa so we are trying to spend as much time with them as possible. It has surely been an emotional roller coaster... this past 6 months... but we are still doing our best to hang in and trust God through the process. Since B still hasn't been able to do many things since his surgery (6 weeks ago already), we have been doing different things to keep the kiddos busy! Joel spent the day helping his parents out so I took the kiddos to the beach. I love that we live about 45 minutes away (that is with no traffic of course). It's low key for Brennan so it worked out perfectly. I did my usual run with them along the bike path and then ended up on the pier to do some people watching! We ended the day at the beach and they got to play in the sand. I bought B a hat to keep his ear out of the sun, it worked great! Both kiddos kept their hats on the whole time :)

And yes... they were exhausted!

We took the kids to cool little place where we live. It's an area full of different farm animals for the kids to look at, pet and feed.

Pnut was kind of fearful of the animals so B gave her a kiss... so sweet!

Brennan still can't go to the playground yet. We took them to a park by us that has a huge green grass area. We had a little picnic and let the kids run around. That's the safest thing for Brennan right now and it gets a lot of his 'pent up energy' out!

Visiting a dog park to check out all the different dogs!!!

Joel's parents are in the process of looking for a new van and needed to go to Carlsbad. We all ended up going to Lego Land for the day with his parents! It was such a fun time, our first.

We had a little family gathering for Pnut's 2nd birthday!

With her new Tinkerbell outfit! This girl sure loves to dress up!

Future Cheerleader?!

Love this one!!!

B is finally back at Cubbies!!! It was picnic day and we had to be very careful because of all the kids running around. B was excited to be back with his friends!

Brennan has always loved Preschool. He has been out for 7 weeks. He was so excited to go back and see his friends and teachers! To be honest, it was a little hard for me to let him go. He's been with us 24/7 since his surgery. It was hard to let him go and just 'trust' that he will be okay and that he wouldn't harm his ear. His ear is doing great but I still have worries about some kid throwing something hard at it, B running into a doorknob, a ball getting kicked into it, being elbowed really hard... the list goes on and on. I have realized I need to 'let go' and just trust that he will be okay. Brennan has been really good with it and knows to be careful.

When I picked Brennan up from school, his teachers said that he is very careful and when all the kids are together close that he stands a foot back... so I know he is being careful!!! Also, his teachers said they notice his hearing is better and that he hears well in the noisy environment... such an answer to prayer!!!

So, that's what we have been up to. Please continue to pray for Joel's dad as ALS is taking a serious toll on his body and pray for our whole family that we can support him through this.

Thanks!

more pictures :)

2011-04-02T20:21:00.001-07:00

I know, I just posted pictues of B's ear yesterday...but it looks so much better today! Day by day it looks better and better! It's less swollen in certain areas and less red. I took these pictures today and emailed them to Dr. Lewin to ask her a few questions and see what she thinks on how his ear is looking. She emailed me back in within 2 hours and said, "I think he looks fantastic. And what you are doing is perfect..." First of all... she emailed me back so soon, on a Saturday (that's just the kind of doctor she is) Second, I feel a LOT better! Not that I was too worried, but I had questions about how I was washing it and applying the cream and she made me feel a lot better about it. After his bath

Behind the ear shot. You can notice the stitch line behind his ear and the stitch on his scalp by his ear. The skin between those stitches is a skin graft from either under his arm or behind his other ear. Cool huh? Those stitch lines will fade with time. It's still so amazing to me!

Closer view. The swelling is going down a bit. I'm seeing more groves in his ear! It's been almost 5 weeks post-op and I'm still amazed at how great it looks already!

And...

Today I went to the memorial service for Mr. Hendricks, my kindergarten teacher ...from many years ago... and I had been close with him throughout the years. The service was almost like a mini reunion with some of my past teachers and some classmates. I was able to re-connect with a dear friend of mine, Nikki!!! We were in kindergarten together and our moms were really close and we spent countless hours at each other's houses for playdates. I have so many great memories with her. When we saw each other we just held each other and cired. We have lost contact with each other for so many years and I'm so glad to reconnect!!!

looking good!

2011-04-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

So, here are some picts from yesterday, and it even looks better today. His rash on his cheek is going away! His ear is still swollen but looking so good day by day!!!

Happy boy!

I still love this view so much! I find myself just staring at him during the day, amazed at his 2 ears! It's so unbelievable to me how different it makes him look... in a good way of course. I do miss his "little ear" and just being able to kiss it. I've been so careful with his new ear that I only touch it when I wash it and put cream on each day. Can't wait till I can kiss it!

Lil Pnut had her 2 year Dr. visit yesterday. She did awesome! Joel and I are still laughing about the appt. She didn't cry the WHOLE time, even during the shot. In the past, anytime we would walk into the office she would start screaming her head off. Yesterday, she just walked right in, down the hall, head held high, waving to all the nurses and dr.'s, trotted right in the room, dancing around in her diaper, got weighed (and didn't cry), got checked (and didn't cry), and held down for a shot (AND DIDN'T CRY).... I'm seriously still in shock :) I think that going to all of B's dr.'s appts has helped and maybe she is just growing up more :)

On that note, she is finally above 2% on the charts!!! In fact, she is in the 11% !!! She is now 23.7 lbs and she grew 2 inches in 6 months! She is growing more and talking more... Such a fun little girl!

At the junior high where I used to teach, they have an annual PE fundraiser. It's a 50 minute walk/run during the PE class. I took the kiddos and walked with them. Here is a picture of them with my mom (she is a secretary at the school).

AWWWW... One of my best friends had her baby boy, Ashton (AJ), on Faith's Birthday!!! I really forgot how little they are. He is so precious!

My friend Christy and her baby Ashton!!! Love them!

Tonight we went to visit one of B's favorite friends, Fernando! Fernando has Microtia/Atresia as well. Fernando has the same Dr. as B also! On Tuesday, Fernando had a surgery called the "tissue expander" procedure. He has a 'baloon type' object placed under his "little ear" that will stretch the skin in a 2-3 month period. Then, Fernando will have a second surgery, just like the one B just had. The thing is, since Fernando has the tissue expander, he will not need any skin grafts taken from his head, arm or orther ear. All the skin used for the surgery will be the skin right by his new ear. It's a new procedure and we can't wait to see how he does. B did not qualify for that procedure because he has his ear canal and ear drum from his previous surgery. So really, each surgery is case by case depending on each patient.

It was fun to visit with his family and talk about our surgeries and experiences. It was just hard to not let our 3 year old boys run around and be crazy little boys... we had to be careful with them because they both had surgeries. I can't wait until I don't have to worry about that anymore!

It's been fun getting to know Fernando and his family. Please keep them in your prayers as they have many appts. ahead to increase the size of the tissue expander on his head and as they prepare for the new ear surgery.

Thanks!

2

2011-03-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to our sweet little Pnut! You are a spunky little girl who keeps us on our toes constantly. We love you so much and are so blessed by God to have you in our lives. We look forward to all the wonderful things God has planned in your life and my sweet princess...I feel so blessed to be your Mommy! You melt my heart!

Week 4

2011-03-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures of the week, then on to the NEW EAR!!! So, Brennan bowled for the first time!!! He LOVES it! The lightest bowling ball is 6 lbs. so B had to do the side swing with daddy helping him There it goes! He played a whole game and could have played all day... I think we might have to sign him up for a league :) Hanging out at the park... just walking around, no swings or slides allowed yet Our friends, the Nunez Family, came to hang out with us for a bit! B's friend from preschool was having his surgery today. Yesterday I sent this picture to his mommy! Fernando is having getting his new ear soon from the same doctor! He is getting the 'tissue expander' technique so this was the first stage surgery. We plan on visiting him at his home soon! Pnuts 2nd Birthday is tomorrow and we had a little birthday celebration for her in her class today! Isn't she the cutest princess! :) ............................................................................................................. Today's appointment pictures!!! The tourist shot Monkey getting his bandages taken of finally! B was so excited for monkey! B's turn, he is intently watching a movie on the TV in the office... makes it all so easy :) Outline of the cup, and a rash on his cheek Time to wash his hair and ears He loves this part! drying off His ear is quite swollen. It will go down and take a few months to show the definition in his ear. Dr. Lewin says it all looks great! He has a rash on his cheek and some rash on his ear, so we will be using a cream to help with that. It's all shiny from the cream on it. Now he is cup and hat free!!!

Dr. Lewin and B!!!

Things we had to buy:

-Ointment to use on his cheek and ear 2x a day (on his cheeks utill the rash goes away and on his ear for a month)

-Dandruff Shampoo to wash his hair every day (it's been a while since he has taken a regular bath, can't wait!)

-Antibacterial soap (I need to gently rub and wash his ear once a day)... yikes, I'm just a bit nervous about that)

He is so happy!!!

Me and my boy!!!

So now B is asleep, in his own bed. He has been in his bed for over a week. Now that the cup is off, I am slightly nervous. I had thought of having him sleep with us again but I am just trying not to let my nerves get in the way and relax a little and realize that he should be in his own bed. It doesn't mean I won't be checking on him a lot though with the video monitor :) Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight :)

Another Appointment

2011-03-25T23:11:00.001-07:00

I'm sure at some point we will stop taking pictures of B's ear all the time, but since it's always covered by his cup and whenever we go to the Dr.'s we get to see it... here it is again!

We had an appt. today to have his ear cleaned and the antibiotic cream re-applied. Almost all the fungus was gone! Francesca, Dr. Lewin's Physician's Assistant, put more cream on and cupped it back up :)

B's Wed. appt. was changed to Tuesday. So... if everything looks good, in 4 more days his cup will be off for good! I'm nervous and excited at the same time.

Week 3 Post-Op

2011-03-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

We had B's 3 week post-op appt. today... and even though I was nervous about it (I thought his cup was pressing up against part of his ear) it was fine!!! His ear looked great. A small amount of fungus had grown on the ear due to moisture and sweating under the cup, which we were told is common. One of the doctors put some antibiotic cream on it after they cleaned his ear and we have to go back on Friday for more cream. We have our 4 week appt. next Wednesday which is when the cup should come off for good...yikes :)

Here are some pictures from the week, and the appt. today...

We bought some new games from the Lakeshore Learning Store and B's absolute favorite is bowling :)

Their new puzzle with 'look and find' cards

Pnut doing a quick grocery run with mommy

On St. Patrick's Day we were invited to our friend's house for dinner! B and Pnut got to sit at a table with my friend's girls: Emilie, Bailie, and Rylie. Sunnie had tons of cute St. Patty's Day decorations and table themes. It was so fun to hang out and for Brennan to get some play time with some friends.

Thanks for such a special night Alber family!

Of course Sunnie made the cutest rainbow cupcakes... and sooo yummy!

Time with Mommy and Auntie Jen at B's favorite place to eat... In & Out of course!

I'm making the kiddos lunch and I turn around and this is what I see... ha ha

Going on a walk with Mommy and Auntie Jen and it downpours for about 5 minutes. We had to run and find cover under a paseo bridge... fun times!

Yummy noodles at Panera

******************************************************

Today's appt...

Pnut waiting patiently in the stroller. Daddy had to get some shots of this cutie...

You can see the faint outline of the cup on his face. The red rash on his cheek is from a piece of tape that I applied a week ago... apparently it was the wrong tape, oops, the dr.'s tape is much better (yes, they gave me some of theirs to use from now on :)

The white plug in his ear is protecting his new ear canal from his last surgery in October.

The yellow stuff on his ear is the fungus stuff growing on it. She said it is completely normal and common since it is covered with a cup for a week and can collect moisture from sweat... The antibiotic cream should help. We go back Friday to get his ear cleaned again and the antibiotic cream re-applied.

Closer view

Washing his hair. He says it feels good... ha ha... his eyes roll back and he almost falls asleep everytime they do this. Poor kid... sponge baths are only so fun for so long... can't wait to give him normal baths again :) But he is such a trooper through everything. It's so worth it for the end result!

Cleaning his ear

Me and my boy! (showing off his new ear... he is so proud!)

Cleaning off some fungus

Dr. Lewin is out of town this week so Francesca and a nurse took care of B's ear. Dr. Reinisch came by the room and took a look at B's ear!!! Dr. Reinisch is the one who designed this surgery over 20 years ago.

Talking about B's ear

Saying it looks "GREAT"!!!

A picture with Dr. Reinisch... we are so blessed to be under the care of our amazing Dr. Lewin and to be able to be in the same office as Dr. Reinisch! The 2 best Dr.'s for this surgery!

After our appt. getting lunch with our crazies!!!

The way home... our boy who never naps (now I have proof for him that it can be done and this little body needs them)... he even slept 2 hours when we got home!

Peaceful ride home :)

Nike Buddies

2011-03-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

week 2

2011-03-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

Today was B's 2 week post-op appt. I was, once again, nervous to see how his ear looked. The doctors cleaned his hair and ears and changed the dressings. I posted pictures...

But before we get to those, here are a few things we did this week to stay busy...

A couple times this week we hung out at Toys R Us and let B walk around and look at toys and play with a few.

Pnut picked out the doll she wanted... NOT :)

We went down to City Walk at Universal and pushed the kiddos in the stroller. We looked through some stores and did a bunch of 'people watching'... great place for that :)

B's hooked on "Mad Birds" as he calls it... actually, Joel and I are hooked and B loves to watch!

We went to the LA Zoo... and got a great workout pushing the double stroller up all those hills :)

After the Zoo, we went to the Griffith Park train museum and the kiddos and Joel got to ride the mini-train.

Had to get the 'tourist shot' of course!

B stayed home with daddy and I took Pnut to her 'mommy and me class'... the themed craft this week... leprechaun hat :)

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

B's appt. today!!!....

Here he is with his 2 ears!!!

Washing his hair and ears. He did great this time (as long as we reassured him that we wouldn't get water in his eyes)

Me and my boy

Cheese!!!

He did so awesome through this appt. The doctor cleaned his ear and put more dressings on it. Dr. Lewin was very pleased at how it is healing.

B and daddy!

Close-up

From behind

Another close-up

Dr. Lewin removed some of the dead skin that is shedding. She said all the ears that she creates will shed skin differently. B just had some on the back of his ear. She was pealing it off (kind of like a sun burn skin). Believe me, it was interesting and kind of hard for me to look at as she was pealing it away... but hey, she's the doctor right, she knows what she's doing. :)

And, what better way to celebrate after the appt. then with some ice cream again!!!...

My clowns eating some ice cream clowns :)

And the aftermath...

Update on B's neck tightness... there is none! He is completely back to moving around with full range of motion in his neck. Joel and I think that a big part of the problem was that B was being overprotective of his new ear with the cup on it and was afraid to move his head. To tell you the truth, that was our biggest and only worry the first week. Now that his neck is fine... I feel so relieved and less stressed... Thank God!

Our next appt. is in a week and they will change his dressings again. We were told he can have his cup off then or we could wait a week... uhhhh.... we decided to wait one more week. Why not right? ha ha.... I wish I could keep the cup on for a few months. I know it really needs to air out and do the next stage of healing so at his week 4 post-op appt. his cup will come off for good! I'm excited and nervous. I am nervous for it to be exposed from now on but so excited for him to have his 2 ears!!!

What a long process this has been. It has been long because we have researched for 3 1/2 years. We have researched surgeries, doctors and weighed our options. We have contacted other families who have been through this. We have prayed and trusted in God through this... and here we are, done with it. It's crazy... it almost doesn't feel real.

Dr. Lewin asked me if this Medpor surgery process was easier or harder than we thought. It took me a second to think about it but I said easier and I really believe that. I can't believe how quickly the surgery came and went and how well his ear looks, only 2 weeks out. I can't believe how fast B felt back to himself and how well he is being so careful with his ear. It has truly been such a blessing at how great things have been... aside from my lack of sleep from one eye always open keeping an eye on B... ha ha. (B does think it's a slumber party everynight)... and I'm thinking in a few nights we will put him back in his own bed (that might just be the hardest part of this whole process).

And of course...I am, once again, anxiously awaiting his next appt. to see his ear again!

New Ear!!!

2011-03-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

1 week post-op appt. :

It was our first time seeing B's new ear! The visit consisted of taking off his head dressings, taking off some stitches and the sponge from his "good ear", taking off the ear mold over his new ear, washing his hair, washing both ears, cleaning the new ear with antibiotic gel, covering the new ear with a certain cloth and seaweed water, covering it with mold, covering it with new dressings and lastly covering with his black cap. It was about an hour appointment. Brennan did great throughout the whole process. He wasn't too excited at first when he had to lay down on the table to get his head wet, but once the warm water hit his scalp he completely relaxed. For the rest of the appointment he just sat and watched "Cars" on the flat screen in the room as they cleaned his new ear.

I posted pictures to help explain the process...

Taking off his white cup and head dressings

The mold over his new ear that was under the white cup/head dressings

Washing his hair and ears

A view of his NEW EAR!!!

2 EARS!!!

Another front picture. The new ear is slightly bigger than his right one. At age 3-4, the ears are about 85% developed. The doctor made his new ear about 15% bigger so he can grow into it (since the medpor ear does not grow)

Close up pictures next... and let me explain. I have seen many pictures of ears after surgery and I thought his ear would be purple, swollen and puffy. I was preparing myself for what I was about to see; But I was so surprised at how well his ear looks, after only 1 week. Now of course as it heals it will look better and better, but doesn't it just look AMAZING!!!... I can't get over it, there is an ear there!

Also, the doctor said that because it is so pink it shows that the body is accepting the new ear and skin graft!

There is a white sponge in his ear canal that is protecting it (his new ear canal from his surgery in October)

That is his ear lobe that he had before. Everything else has been crafted by the surgeon using the medpor medical plastic, membrane and skin grafts.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!

(he has stitches behind his right/"good" ear because the doctor took skin from behind that ear to use for a skin graft site on his new ear)

Wow, amazing! He's such a trooper going through this! He is my hero! With all that our family is going through right now, Brennan shows me true courage.

Dr. Lewin changing the ear canal sponge

Using antibiotic cream

Cloth and seaweed water to mold it in place

Molding it in place

A new white cup and dressings

Almost done!

Taking a ride on the toy plane before we leave the office!
(we will be back in a week for his 2 week post-op visit/ they will clean his hair and ears and change the dressings again)

Of course we had to celebrate how well Brennan did with some ice cream!!!

*****

Here are some before and after pictures to show how AMAZING these surgeries have been:

Before any surgeries

A new ear canal (and ear drum) from his surgery 4 months ago in October

And now!!!

We are so excited about his new ear and pray that it continues to heal properly!

A huge prayer request answered: Brennan's neck tightness is slowly loosening up and he is getting more range of motion! We are continuing the heating pad and neck exercises but it seems to be doing better daily!

Thank you for your prayers!!!

Getting Out!

2011-03-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

I can't believe tomorrow will mark 1 week since surgery. Last week at this very moment I was preparing for one of the biggest days of my life and here I am 1 week later! I am so thankful it's over!
I facebooked and called a few other moms whose kids have had the same surgery in the last few months and asked them about the neck stiffness that B is experiencing. All 4 mom's kids didn't have an issue with it. So that freaked me out just a little more. I called the surgeons office and they told us we really need to work on B's neck movements, which we have already been doing. We just hadn't done it to the point of crying or pain, which I learned was the next step. I called a physical therapist friend and she offered tips on helping out B. Of course, it isn't pain free at all. All day we have been using a heating pad on his shoulders/neck, massaging, stretching and icing. Poor B cries through the massaging part. It's horrible but I know it needs to be done. When B woke up this morning, Joel and I noticed that his shoulders seemed level, good thing! His neck is still kinked to the left. So, we are working on that now. He seems looser tonight so hopefully we can help him out more tomorrow. I think it will take another week or 2 to go back to normal. We see the surgeon in 2 days so if she is concerned we will ask for a physical therapist referral.
Funny thing is, if it wasn't for the neck issue, everything would be great! B hasn't complained of head pain today at all. He is so careful with his head and ears. He really has been such a trooper through all of it!

In between massaging and stretching out our little guy, here are some picts...

I took Pnut out to a baby/kid's items sale yesterday and she loved the rocking horse

Pnut time at the mall play yard

Today was B's first real trip outside! We fed ducks and watched turtles swim.

Can't go out without stopping for a smoothie!

B using his heating pad

Of course Monkey gets heating pad time too!

neck tightness remains

2011-03-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

Joel and I took turns taking Pnut out today while the other one stayed home with B. We can't wait to get him out and about. Hopefully we will do something low-key tomorrow. B still complains about 2 to 3 times a day about his head hurting. That's understandable of course.
His neck is still so very tight. He can barely move his neck around in any direction. We have his post-op appt. in 3 days but I'll be emailing or calling the office tomorrow to see if there is anything we can do now to help out his neck. The doctor did say to expect stiffness in the neck and to have him move his head around throughout the day, which is what we have been doing. He complains every time we try and have him do neck exercises. It's been 5 days so I'm hoping this is normal and that it will go away with time, but I feel so bad for him right now. Poor little guy.

Day 4

2011-03-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

Let's see... today was another day of computer games, "Tom and Jerry," activity books, crafts, Playmobil sets, coloring, drawing, working on writing letters... and some napping...

napping in mommy and daddy's bed

OUTSIDE!!! Other than surgery day, today was literally Brennan's first time going outside in over 2 weeks. Remember, the kids were in "lockdown" mode for a week and a half before surgery day. The weather was perfect today and B is getting a little stronger now so I held his hand and we walked one lap around our cul-de-sac nice and slow. We are going to be doing this a few times a day from now on. Hopefully soon we can get out and about and go somewhere fun. I have a list of low-key things we can all do soon as a family.

My Uncle Bob, Kelly, Uncle Tom and Cousin Tommy came over to visit!

We are still working on B's neck movements. He is resistant to moving his neck around because he says it hurts. I bought a microwavable heating pad to put around his shoulders to help. He does seem more relaxed today so I'm trying not to be too concerned.

Other than that, he seems to be doing great!!!

Thanks for the prayers!

Good Day

2011-03-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

This is deja vu from my last post...I'm typing in bed as B is falling asleep next to me. :)
It has been a good day for B. His day consisted of computer games, crafts, cartoons, coloring and building a marble tower (or should I say mommy and daddy building a marble tower as B watched :) His appetite is almost the same now and he took another nap today! We have only been giving him regular Tylenol occasionally when he says his head hurts. We are still working on his neck exercises. He is still tight in the neck. He perfers to have his left shoulder up high and his head tilted to the left. We are working on moving his head in the "no" movement and "yes" movement. Today he seems more loosened then yesterday so there is some progress.
I was able to get out with Pnut this afternoon and take her on a run/walk. We also had some one-on-one time at the park. It was nice to spend time with her since I haven't been able to do that with her lately.

Park time with Pnut

Day 3 gifts from the Recovery Calendar: Disney socks for Pnut and a puzzle for B!

Friends Todd and Summer and their kids Ashlynn and Jeremy visited us!

Grandma with B

Grandma with the kiddos!

AND...

Yep... B's starting to get back to his old self :) ....

(click to play video)

Bye Bye Drains

2011-03-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

It's been going great at home! B slept through the night last night... how I do know this, because I kept checking on him which of course means I didn't get much sleep again. We were on the couch last night so tonight we are trying our bed. I'm not sure if I'm ready for him to sleep in his own bed yet. His new ear is very protected with the white cup on it but his right ear has a sponge sewn to it from where the Dr. took skin so I'm afraid he will grab at it during the night. We'll see how tonight goes. I'm hoping to get some more sleep.
We had B's first post-op appt. today. It was a quick one to remove the drains. B wasn't too thrilled about being there and cried a bit when the drains were being removed. The doctor's assistant cut the stitches and slid out the drains. It is so wonderful to not have the drains anymore. B's neck is very tight from being tilted to the side for so 10 hours. He has been leaning his head to the left because of the drains that were in place. We are now working on neck exercises with him to get full range of motion back.
After B's appt. we went to the Nike store to purchase another skull cap to cover B's head. He fell asleep in the stroller and was out hard. Joel and I decided to walk around for a while and let B sleep. We went to lunch and walked around outside for a while. B got almost an hour and a half nap. He's just so exhausted and low energy right now. Poor guy's body is just trying to recover from the trauma.

Last night, enjoying a cupcake brought by Grandma and Papa!

Day 2 surprise from the 'Recovery Calendar' (a car which he carried around all day)

On our way to the Dr. appt to get the drains removed!

Reading a book in the waiting room

Waiting for the drains to be removed! B was excited to get them removed but didn't really like the process of having them pulled out. It was a quick appt. so B did great!

Asleep through mommy and daddy's lunch at CPK

Tourist picture at Rodeo Dr... with my sleeping boy :)

My good friend Susan came over and brought us dinner tonight! Her son, Chris, and B are best buddies! B was so excited to have a friend over. B was such a good listener too and knew he had to stay on the couch, so they watched a little "Tom and Jerry"

Excited to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed tonight. We'll see how this goes :)

Next post-op appt. is next Wed, 6 days away. So until then, we will be laying low and taking it very easy. I'm excited about the next appt. because we will see his new ear for the first time. The doctor is going to change his head dressings and clean his hair and new ear. It will be wrapped up again for another week, but we will get to see it!!! Don't worry, I'll try and get a picture!

As I type, B is snoring next to me! Now it's my turn... good night!

Surprise 'Recovery Calendar'

2011-03-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

Day 1 after surgery... and he's smiling!
He had an okay night. He started asking for cheerios around 3 am. I wanted him to get back on routine so we waited until 6:30 to eat. He had about 6 bites and said he was full. Right now he is playing computer games, so I know he is feeling good!

Happy boy!!!

My friends Sunnie, Susan and Analiza surprised us with such a wonderful and thoughtful gift! They made a "Surgery Recovery Calendar" (like an Advent Calendar) for Brennan. It's a huge board decorated with so many cute scrapbooking details on it. There are 24 days for Brennan (for his 3 weeks of recovery). Each day is numbered on a bag and inside is a surprise gift for Brennan. Brennan's eyes lit up when I brought it out and today he opened the first one!

The handmade 'recovery calendar' and craft box for Brennan. And they didn't leave Faith out :) She has her own handmade box with fun surprises each day for her too!

Close up picture, look how creative it is!

Brennan's craft box full of craft supplies and fun things to do

Faith's box of surprises!

B looking through his craft box!

So happy!

Loving his new 'recovery calendar'!!!

Oh my goodness... the first gift... 'Agent P' socks from Phineas and Ferb (his favorite character and show!) Such a fun surprise! And it's the biggest smile he's given me yet :)

Pnut with her box!

Thank you so very much Sunnie, Susan and Analiza for creating this wonderful surprise for the kids. Brennan will be looking forward to opening a new surprise every morning, which will help out the recovery process even more! Love you gals!!!

'wee hours' update

2011-03-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

It's the wee hours of the night...up with B... not for any other reason but because I can't sleep. B is doing great! He is sleeping on and off and just hanging out with me on the couch. He is such a good listener. The drains are really annoying but he is being good about not touching them or pulling on them. If he has an itch on his head or near his ear, he asks me to itch it for him. I just can't stop looking at my precious little guy. He went through so very much yesterday and here he is, just laying on the couch, with his full personality coming back to life. His little one liners are hilarious. I think he remembers the "one on one" attention he got from the last surgery so he is really 'milking it' this time :)

I'm just so thankful that everything went great yesterday and that he woke up fine. I'm so thankful that we live close enough that we were able to take him to the comfort of our home after surgery. I'm so thankful that his tummy seems to be taking the meds okay, so far. I'm so thankful for the friends and family that stayed with us at the surgery center to help the time go by yesterday. I'm so thankful for all the prayers yesterday, I felt so at peace! I'm also very thankful for the continued prayers as we get through the first few weeks of recovery.

B's head is wrapped and he has a cup on his new ear. He has a post-op appt. in a week where the doctor will clean his new ear and change dressings, so that will be the first time we get to see it! Yesterday after surgery, when Dr. Lewin came out to tell us how the surgery went, she showed us pictures she took of B. It was during surgery but it was when the ear was complete. So, B was still out and his eyes were taped shut (that was kind of hard to see). It was amazing to see his new ear! She showed us a side picture of his new ear and a front view showing his 2 ears on the sides of his head. It was so cool! I'm so excited for it to heal! That's a major prayer request right now, for his new ear to heal properly!!! All we can do is keep B calm and still as much as possible and let the new ear heal!!!

Okay, I'm going to try and sleep now!

Home

2011-03-01T21:24:00.000-08:00

We are home. Are we ever glad to be home!!! I've been looking forward to this moment since we left at 5:15 this morning. We arrived around 6 am at the office . They prepped him and took him away at 7:15am. We went to the recovery room around 5:00pm... so it was a very long day for us. In a way it felt like 3 days but in another it felt like a couple hours. We were blessed to have some friends and family there at different times of the day, so Joel and I were never alone. There was always someone to talk with and distract us for a bit :)

When we went into recovery, B was just starting to wake up. He was obviously confused and irritated. He wasn't screaming or thrashing around like his last surgery so that was much better this time around. He just kept saying, "I wana get up" and I felt bad knowing he didn't quite understand why we weren't letting him go yet.

He had a couple popsicles and we changed his clothes to go home. He wasn't in the best mood but that's understandable. We left the surgery center around 6pm.

It was a long 12 hours and we are so glad it is over!

B has had more popsicles at home and a few ritz crackers. He is sleeping off and on. The most annoying part right now are the drains coming from his ear. We have an appt. on Thursday to have them removed. I can't wait for that!

We have to empty his drains when they fill up. We also have Tylenol with codeine and an anti-biotic to give him. We are laying low tomorrow and Thursday and hopefully he will be able to move around a bit soon.

And of course, yes, Monkey did get his ear fixed too :)

Waking up more and enjoying a popsicle

The cup protecting his new ear!

Giving his best smile! Sweet little boy!

At home, a little puffy and swollen.

CHEESE!

45 minutes

2011-03-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

The nurse called and said there is about 45 minutes left and then the doctor will be out to talk with us! And then I believe we will be able to be with him in recovery!!!
AND... that was about 30 minutes ago... sooooo.... anytime now!!!

Update

2011-03-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

Another update!
Dr. Lewin called from her bluetooth as she was working on B :) She decided that it would be best to take skin from behind his right "good ear" as opposed to his scalp. She is still using skin from B's left arm but she doesn't have to use as much skin from the scalp, which is good news. The bad news... it will be about 2 hours longer. Oh well, we want what is best for B even if it means a longer surgery. So now it's about a 10-12 hour surgery.
And she said B is doing great!

Surgery

2011-03-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

And we're off (left at 5:15am) He asked for cheerios, poor guy...

Signing papers

In hospital gown, waiting... being such a good boy

Dr. Lewin!!!, the surgeon, talking about the procedure

Talking about skin grafts... as B plays his game oblivious to what is going to happen

Tracing his "good ear" on transparency paper

Comparing size to mommy's ear and tracing mommy's ear on the paper to determine the size of his new ear

Reassuring B that it is all going to be okay

Last picture of the 3 of use before the big procedure

We love Dr. Lewin! Right now she is working on B and I am so at peace! Must be all the prayers coming our way!!!

Bye Bye "little ear"

So happy, even after the 'loopy juice'

About 30 minutes after they took B away, Dr. Lewin came out once to tell us that B went "out" great and that she was about to get started!

We received a call from the nurse a few minutes ago and she said Dr. Lewin has been working on him for 20 minutes and that B was doing great.

And now we wait...

It's about an 8 hour surgery so we will be waiting for a LONG time.

While we are in the waiting room, he nurse will be calling us and updating us on how he is doing.

Keep the prayers coming!!!

Goodbye "little ear"

2011-02-28T18:42:00.000-08:00

Last few moments with my boy's "little ear"...

2 days

2011-02-27T23:14:00.000-08:00

Yep, now it's 2 days away...

Thanks for praying along side us for our little guy!

Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him"

3 days

2011-02-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

3 more days until Brennan's surgery...yikes... I'm trusting in God yet still very anxious, nervous, excited, terrified, questioning, wondering, impatient, sleepless, waiting and PRAYING a ton!

Bouncing Blessing

2011-02-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

Soooo... it feels like it has been 2 months since the kids have left our house, but it's really only been 5 days... only 6 more to go. I know I may seem paranoid about it, but with the horrible flu and other nasty bugs going around, I just can't chance it. I am doing my best to keep these kids healthy, until B's big day. I'm trying to stay in routine with meals and bedtime. They are eating lots of fruits, veggies and vitamins. I can only really just do my best. It's a little OCD but it's worth it to keep B healthy. So I do ask that you pray with me to keep our sweet little boy healthy until surgery day.

With this being said... the kiddos have a LOT of pent up energy. The weather is freezing so we haven't been in the backyard for a few days. In the house we can only play freeze tag and 'hide and go seek' so many times and if I have to count how many laps they do downstairs it's got to be in the hundreds :)
My friend Nichole has come to the rescue! She let me borrow her bounce house! It's smaller than the huge outdoor ones but it's huge in our house and big enough to entertain the kids for a long time! It's fun for them and helps with their abundant amount of energy from being cooped up in the house.

Thank you Nichole!

A few picts of the fun...

... an action shot!

"The Lord is my Shepherd"

2011-02-21T00:33:00.001-08:00

My sweet neighbor sent this to me in an email. It is such an encouragement to me for all the things we are going through as a family.

(From 'Meet me in the Meadow' by Roy Lessin)
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. Psalm 23:1"...

To the lost sheep, He is the seeking Shepherd;
To the needy sheep, He is the providing Shepherd;
To the hurting sheep, He is the comforting Shepherd;
To the bruised sheep, He is the healing Shepherd;
To the anxious sheep, He is the peaceful Shepherd;
To the wandering sheep, He is the guiding Shepherd;
To the fearful sheep, He is the protecting Shepherd;
To the lame sheep, He is the carrying Shepherd;
To the discontented sheep, He is the fulfilling Shepherd;
To the parched sheep, He is the anointing Shepherd;
To the timid sheep, He is the reassuring Shepherd;
To the fallen sheep, He is the merciful Shepherd;
To the nervous sheep, He is the quieting Shepherd;
To the heavy laden sheep, He is the restful Shepherd;
To the lonely sheep, He is the ever-present Shepherd;
To the weary sheep, He is the restoring Shepherd;
To all His sheep, He is the Good Shepherd.

Thank you Nancy for sending me this!

Trying to stay busy

2011-02-20T23:46:00.000-08:00

Let's see... the kids have been "stuck at home" for a few days now. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't going "stir crazy." Joel's still in Az but is coming home tomorrow so I'm excited about that! My mom watched the kiddos today so I could get out and go to a couple stores and stock up on things we will need for the next few weeks. So, I'm able to get out here and there a bit but the poor kiddos are home ALL day :)

I sent this picture to Joel... "night night daddy!"

Since I'm keeping the kids "away from the outside world" for over a week (to keep them from getting sick before B's big surgery day), I had this great idea about going to the mall in the morning before the stores open. I went there yesterday and today. Both days I got there and started my walk at 7:45am. It's so nice to be indoors and so peaceful to walk laps in the mall with barely anyone else there... just the cleaners, security, and a few other mall walkers. I probably did 3 miles each day. After my walk we spent a lot of time at the kid's play center... shhhh, it's my little secret.... if you get there before the mall opens, there are no other kids there!.... but don't tell anyone :) It was so fun to let the kiddos run around and play. Since the weather is bad I haven't been able to let them play outside it was nice for them to get some energy out! After that, we made our way to the Starbucks mall for some yummy chocolate milk (B's favorite).

DAY 1:

My walking buddies

Car time (seriously, I do try and get Pnut to put her head down when she smiles)

Chocolate milk time!

My sweet boy!

Cutie Pnut

DAY 2:

crazy kiddos

I hope they don't get spoiled and used to being the only 2 in there

My lil guy!

Attempting a picture with us 3

Here we go!

Car time again!

And yes, chocolate milk again

Throwing pennies in the fountain

Back at home...

...I turn my back for 3 seconds

One of his many floor puzzles. I was actually learning my states as we were doing this one (sad, but so true :)

Yes, shooting darts at the mirror... remember, we are home all day, everyday for a while... I've got to get creative.

If any of you have some fun ideas (crafts, games...) to do with 2 lil ones, I'd love to hear them!

Haircut Time

2011-02-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

B got his hair cut today in prep for his next surgery. His hair was just getting to a good length and the curls were coming in so it was sad to see it go. Oh well, it's all worth it!

First of all... isn't she adorable! The boots, dress and vest were all given to me as 'hand me downs' from friends. The blue beenie was B's so I added a flower to "girly" it up!

Ready for the cut

Bye bye hair

Happy boy!

All done!... I think he just aged a couple years too

Pnut's turn!

Hanging with Grandma!

Just the bangs... and she did so good! I expected her to cry but she surprised me and did so well! Maybe it's because B went before her and the cute pink jeep she is sitting in helped!

Typical Pnut smile :)

Enjoying our favorite frozen yogurt after the haircut.

Hearing Test

2011-02-16T20:01:00.000-08:00

Brennan had a hearing test this week. The hearing test involves B sitting in a small booth with hearing devices placed in each ear. When the right ear is tested, a static noise is used on the left side to make sure only the right side picks up the noise. Same goes for the left side. He is tested with "play audiometry" which is when B hears a noise, he places an object in something. For example, for one of these tests he placed a game piece into the connect four game each time he heard a noise. This way the audiologist knows he hears the sound and it becomes a fun game for the child being tested. B did so good during this test. He has had so many hearing tests that he finally has the system down! He is so quiet and concentrates so well and right when he hears a noise he places the object in right away!

The chart below shows his progress!!! The chart on the left is his right ear hearing (frequency in Hz). He has normal hearing on his right. The chart on the right has some dots and X's. The dots on the chart represent his hearing on his left side before the surgery he had in October. The X's above the dots represent his hearing this week in his left ear!!! Look at how much it has improved!!! Yippee!!! This makes me feel so good about going through with the surgery! It has helped him!!! Part of the test is listening to words and repeating them. He had an excellent word recognition score on his left side!!! This is all so very exciting! His new ear drum is still healing so we will find out if there is more improvement with his next hearing test in June.

B doing so well with wires coming out of his ears

Concentrating on the sounds

He puts the game piece up by his ear and listens so intently. When he hears the noise, he places it in the game.

Other things...

My good friend Dawn gave us this swing set!!! Her girls were getting too big for it and she asked us if we wanted it... uh...of course!!! It came at a perfect time too. Starting Friday B is going to be staying home for 1 1/2 weeks to prevent getting sick before his next surgery. So that means being cooped up inside our house. Now we have this fun swing set to use... weather permitting! Thank you so very much Dawn!

Joel is still recuperating from his broken leg. He has been off work since it happened in the beginning of November. He is still doing physical therapy and getting stronger everyday. He still walks with a slight limp and can't put full pressure on his leg. We are thankful he is not on his crutches anymore! It will probably be a couple more months until he returns back to work. We are thankful this gives him more time with the kids and especially his parents. Living life with ALS has been anything but easy for Joel's dad and we appreciate your continuous prayers for him. Joel left today back to Arizona to help out his parents. They are coming out here next Wednesday and Joel will be driving them down.

Waiting for daddy to take the train

Here comes the train!

Kissing B goodbye

Bye Bye daddy, we love you!!! See you in a week!

Welcome To Holland

2011-02-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

This has been around for a long time, but this is the first time I have seen it. It hit home to me when I read it and I just had to share.
Before you read it, just understand that I know there are all types of disabilities and birth defects. I am not comparing our journey with B to the major things that many families are going through with their precious children. I can just relate to this short story on so many levels. I get emotional reading it and hope that everyone can understand a little more about what families go through when their "flight changes" with no preparation.

Enjoy!...

"WELCOME TO HOLLAND"
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

Pre-Op

2011-02-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

Today was Brennan's pre-op appt! My good friend Becky took Faith for the day which was a huge help for us. We left around 10am and went to lunch down in West LA at a pizza place. We then went to Diddy Riese across the street! Diddy Riese is a very popular 'hole in the wall' ice cream place that specializes in ice cream cookie sandwiches and always has a long line. It was B's first time, which of course he LOVED! It was a good way to start out the day!

B with his M&M cookie ice cream sandwich

Yummy!

At the pre-op appt. we were given our surgery packet to look over and paperwork to fill out. Next, B had his picture taken at every angle. These pictures will be used to compare with pictures that will be taken after surgery.

His picture on the computer screen on the left

Side view

Looking up view

Now this is AMAZING and such a blessing! His buddy August, from my previous blog post, had a 6 month post-op appt today right after our appt. We were able to hang out with his mom and the boys were able to play together! It was great to see him and his new ear again! His ear is healing so well and it's amazing to see how good it looks. Once again it made me feel really good about our decision to go through with the surgery!

The two crazy boys :)

My favorite picture!!! The boys with Dr. Lewin!
It was great to meet with her again. We feel so blessed to be able to put our son in the care of such an amazing doctor. She is so caring and understanding. The next time we see her will be on March 1st as she works on our son for over 8 hours...yikes. Reality is starting to really set in... in a good way though, I'm excited. I'm excited to help out our little guy and finish his hearing journey with a new ear!!!

After our appt. we were able to hang out a bit with Rochelle, August, and his little sister Lotus(4 months old). Where else to celebrate being together than B's favorite place... Jamba Juice!

The boys waiting for their smoothies!

Yummy!

Great buds!

We met August's parents at a Microtia/Atresia conference up north over 2 years ago. We met as we were all researching the best surgeons and procedures for our boys. 2 years later here we are with our boys going through the process together. It's such a blessing!

August's Birthday

2011-02-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

I wrote a post last September about a boy, August, who had the surgeries that B was getting. August had atresia repair surgery (new ear canal) last May (the one that B just had in October) and the Medpor surgery (ear) last August. He is 5 months post-op from the one that Brennan is having in 3 1/2 weeks. They met last September and I've been keeping in contact with his family through email. August had his 4th birthday party today and B and I were able to go! It was so fun to see August and his family! August had his ear surgery 5 months ago and look how awesome his ear looks! (Can't tell which one huh?!... it's his right one)
It made me excited for B's upcoming surgery.

Close up of August's ear, it still has lots of healing to go but it looks so good!

Because B had surgery 3 months ago, I was a little worried about him being in the bounce house with so many kids. The kids at the party were doing a scavenger hunt around the yard so it was a perfect time for B to enjoy the bounce house all by himself! He hadn't been in a bounce house in a long time. He LOVED it!

Time to hit the pinata!

Yummy cake and ice cream!

Keeping busy

2011-02-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Joel went to Arizona for a few days to spend time with his parents. I'm so glad he is able to be there and be with his dad! So, it's just me and the kiddos for a while. It's been 3 months since Joel broke his leg and hasn't been able to work so I've gotten used to him being home. It's kind of weird to be alone again. I've been keeping busy with the kiddos, here are some picts...

I worked in the church nursery with Faith on Thursday while B was in pre-school. It was so fun to be with her and see how she interacted with the other kids. She loved the rocking horse!

Of course we had to take a trip to our favorite smoothie place!

Park date with the kiddos!

And of course we just had to spend the day today in Santa Monica! The weather was just so nice and we had the whole day free, so we spent our day here! I took the kiddos on a run as they ate snacks in the stroller and got excited about every plane and helicopter that passed over us. We then spent a lot of time on the pier. We ended the day with some playtime on the sand. It was such a fun day! It's always one of my favorite places to take them.

1/2 way through the run picture!

Time on the merry-go-round on the Pier

Kiddie rides of course!

End of the Pier picture!

Big pelican bird in the shot

Sand time!

Making a sand castle

Turning to prayer

2011-02-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

It's exactly 1 month until B's Big surgery day. Exactly 4 weeks from today our little guy will have a huge procedure done to help him in so many ways. And yes, I'm starting to think about it more and more. Thoughts just creep in my head as the day goes by. What happened around this time before his last surgery is that I found myself grabbing something to eat every time I thought about his surgery. I'd go on throughout my day eating handfuls of this and handfuls of that just to put my thoughts aside... emotional eating? I think so. It didn't help me in any way. It just made me feel worse about myself as my clothes got tighter and my insides felt so unhealthy. I struggled with it so much and now I feel it happening again. Well, this time, I vow to turn those thoughts to prayer, and not food. I vow to commit this next month to prayer for my son, my family and other families going through these same procedures. I know I feel so much closer to God when I read His word and spend time in prayer. It is helping me to jot this down on the blog so now it is a commitment to God, to use my worried thoughts and turn them to prayer!!!

I just LOVE em

2011-01-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

3 Months

2011-01-25T14:46:00.001-08:00

Brennan is a little over 3 months post-op! People say, "3 months already?"... but really, with everything going on, it has been the hardest and longest 3 months of my life.
But, we are surviving!!!
Here is a recent picture of his ear canal! His skin graft site is completely covered by hair now and healing great!
Many people have asked about his "little ear" being in front of his ear canal. He was born with his "little ear" slightly more forward than the actual postition of where the "big ear" should have been. So, when he gets his new "big ear" it will be behind the ear canal, just like his other "normal ear."

Close up picts.

Brennan's next surgery is set for March 1st, exactly 5 weeks from today...yikes. B has his pre-op appt. on Feb 9th... this is a big day because we will be meeting with the doctor and she will go over every detail of the surgery. We have done so much research about this surgery but it will hit home to us when we go in and meet with the doctor and she talks with us about Brennan's procedure.

We are planning to do the Medpor surgery the way we have researched. In a nutshell: It's an 8-10 hour procedure where they will remove his "little ear" and use parts of it for his "big ear." She will use two pieces of medical medpor plastic and create an ear out of it and attatch it to his skull around his ear canal. She will then use a large piece of living membrane under his skin (scalp) on the left side of his head just over his "little ear" and place it over the medpor plastic. Finally, a skin graft site from either under B's arm or upper thigh area will be used to cover the ear. It's a very detailed and delicate surgery.

I am now learning of a new technique the Dr. is using for the skin graft site. She is doing a new technique that uses a balloon product somewhere on the patient's head near the ear and place it in during a surgery. The balloon product will stay in for a month to stretch the skin. Then, the skin that is stretched will be used for the skin graft site during the medpor surgery, one month later, instead of using skin from the arm or thigh.
We are not sure if that surgery is even an option for B. We will find out everything on the 9th.

Having just learned of this new technique, I am stressing out a bit since it changes all our plans. It would mean 2 surgeries about a month apart instead of just 1 surgery. Although, obviously if this new technique is better for Brennan in the long run, we will decide to do it.
So please keep us in your prayers for Feb. 9th when we discuss everything with B's surgeon.
Thank you so much!!!

Bling!

2011-01-21T22:13:00.001-08:00

A fun project that I couldn't wait to finish... making Faith's "new" shoes!
I saved Brennan's old shoes and turned them into cute girly shoes for Faith.
I just added a little bling!
It took a while to add each rhinestone one by one and I had a "glue headache" after I finished, but they are just so cute!
Talk about recycling!

The first batch...

Faith wears these Converse shoes right now. They are getting snug on her, I'll be sad when she can't wear them anymore

Brown Converse with 2 tones of brown rhinestones

Grey Converse with grey and black rhinestones

Black Adidas with grey, white and pink rhinestones

Cute huh?!!

Family Pictures!

2011-01-11T21:51:00.000-08:00

Here they are!!!
We spent time in Arizona for Christmas with the WHOLE family on Joel's side! We decided to surprise Joel's parents with family pictures!

Finally a good picture with my man!

Our two cuties!

Joel's sister Beth and her husband Keith and kids, Jessica and Gunnar

Joel's brother Tommy and his wife Kim, and their kids Anna, Isaiah and Amaya

Joel's grandparents Floyd and Edith

Joel's parents Tom and Sharon

Parents and kids

Siblings

The whole gang!!!

Tom and Sharon and grandkids!

Kids with their grandparents and great-grandparents!

Cousins!

Love this one!!!

..............................................................

***Please keep us all in your prayers as we continue to trust God through Joel's dad's ALS diagnosis and his difficult journey with it.

Thanks!

Stressing and Learning

2011-01-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

Here we go again... I find myself laying wide awake in the middle of the night thinking about B's next surgery. It's been such a blessing to have been through the first hard step and come out with such great results. I thought that I would feel much better and more relaxed about the next surgery since we have been through a tough one already. But, the opposite is true. My doubts start to creep in all over again. I find myself questioning again. Questioning God's decision to give Brennan this birth defect. Questioning our decision to help correct it.... It's an endless amount of doubt setting in. We've been through a lot recently and I'm feeling vulnerable with my negative emotions. It's placed me literally on my knees and crying out to God to get us through this next step. I've felt so beaten down with our recent trials and I'm emotionally drained to have to go through this next process.

B is developing so much everyday. I can literally have a full conversation with him now! It's so much fun. 3 1/2 years old is such a fun age! The stuff he says is hilarious. I laugh all the time at the things he comes up with. He is such a good big brother to his little sister. He is so protective of her at the playground. He is getting so much better about sharing his toys with her. He breaks out into a dance move whenever he hears music. He LOVES smoothies. He is such a great sleeper at night (yes!). He's great at puzzles. Randomly throughout the day he comes up to me and hugs me and says, "I love you Mommy." ... He melts my heart. And it breaks my heart to know that we have to put him through another surgery.
I know my emotions will be up and down for the next 7 weeks. I can't wait to get it over with. And I can't wait for the long recovery road to be over with too.

I sit and think about all the things I have learned and how much I have grown in the last 2 1/2 months since his last surgery. I have learned more to appreciate all the little things in life. I have learned to lean closer to Joel as my support and partner in this. I have learned to cherish every moment with my kiddos. I have learned the true gift of giving to others (as others have shown me by helping us financially, through cards and emails, through meals delivered to us...) I have learned the contentment of staying home with my family more and not being such a 'busy body' being out and about with them all the time. I have learned the beauty in true friendships and support systems. I have learned to appreciate all the things I DO have and not obsess over the things I "wish I had." Above all else, I have grown closer to my Lord Jesus Christ. So, as hard as the next step will be, I do look forward to all the new lessons I will learn along the way!

This NEVER happens here...

2011-01-02T19:32:00.001-08:00

SNOW!!!
Poor Pnut is sick and was taking a nap at the time so she didn't get to go outside and enjoy it. B got to go out a couple times (we had to come back in the house to thaw out a few times).
It was freezing, but totally worth it! B and I had a mini snow ball fight!

Just starting to come down

More snow!!!

And More!!!

Cold!

Showing the snow on the car

Backyard

Front

Cheese!!!

Special Family Pictures

2010-12-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

We were in Arizona for a few days to celebrate Christmas with Joel's side of the family. It was so very special because we were all there together! Joel's sister, Beth, her husband Keith is working in Afghanistan for a year and had a 1 month leave due to a surgery he had, so he was able to spend Christmas at his home! Joel's grandparents were able to be in Arizona too! So, we all were there... Joel, me and our kiddos, Joel's sister Beth her hubby Keith and their 2 kids Jessica and Gunnar, Joel's brother Tommy and his wife Kim and their 3 kids Anna, Isaiah, and Amaya, Joel's dad and mom (Tom and Sharon) and his grandparents (Floyd and Edith). We set up a photography session with Beth's friend to take pictures. They are coming soon! These are just a few I took with my phone.
We are so thankful we were all able to be together! It was such a special time!

Tom and Sharon and their gradchildren

Grandparents and Great-grandparents!

Cousins!

Merry Christmas!!!

2010-12-23T15:44:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU!

2010-12-14T15:28:00.000-08:00

The past 2 months we have felt an overwhelming amount of support from so many people. With Brennan's surgery, Joel's surgery and Joel's dad's ALS diagnosis, we have been given so much love, encouragement and support from so many people.

*Thank you everyone who offered up a prayer for our family.
*Thank you to those that sent an email, text, or phone call to see if we are doing okay.
*Thank you to those wonderful families who have brought us dinners.
*Thank you to all of Joel's co-workers and friends that visited and stayed with him in the hospital for his 4 day stay.
*Thank you to our family and friends who watched the kiddos for us while we took B to his post-op appts., while I took Joel to his post-op appts., and when I just needed to get out of the house.
*Thank you to Brennan's pre-school friends who gave him pictures, cards and gifts to make his time away from pre-school fun and his transition back to pre-school go okay
*Thank you to the Awana leaders at church who have been so accommodating with us throughout B's recovery
*Thank you to all of B's Awana/Cubbie friends who sent the hand made card to us during his recovery at home
*Thank you to the Glendale Police Dept. for giving Brennan such a wonderful gift of toys from their Toys for Kids program
*Thank you to everyone who came to our fundraiser at Golden Spoon
*Thank you to everyone who have donated money to help with the costs associated with Brennan's hearing journey
*Thank you to our neighbors for taking out our trash cans :)

Family update

2010-12-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

Update on B:
B was able to go to Awana tonight, without my assistance! He was so excited. My sister went to check on him during their song/skit time. She was next to him when they were singing the Cubbies theme song. There is a part of the song where they yell "hop" and they all jump up and down. B jumped up and yelled really loud, "I can jump now!!!"... Isn't that cute?!!!
Also, I've been noticing a huge difference in his hearing already. I keep finding myself saying, "WOW" to the things he is doing or saying. I really feel that his speech is improving. He didn't seem to have an issue with it before, but he seems to be saying more things and pronouncing words better. He seems to be more aware of noises around him. A HUGE thing is when I call his name, he looks right over to me!!! Before, he didn't have any sound localization and it would take him a while to find out where a noise was coming from or where I was calling him from. I've noticed lately that when I call him or if he hears something, he turns and looks directly at where the noise is coming from!!! That is so awesome and a huge answer to prayer!

Update on Joel:
Yep, he is still on crutches. He was able to get his cast off and into a leg "boot" but he still can't put any pressure on his leg. So, the majority of the day is still on the couch with his leg up. He can't wait to start physical therapy a few times a week and start moving around more.

Update on Joel's family:
Hard to talk about still, but as many people now know, Joel's dad was diagnosed with ALS. Please pray for Joel's mom and dad as they are going through this and trying to find the help they need to get through this. It's been a shock to our family and we are all trying to get through this while trusting completely in God and His plan.

So here's what we've been up to the last few days.....

Park buddies

There was breakfast at church, Angel Breakfast, and I took B as my date. We had yummy food, including the donuts which were his favorite, made crafts and listened to the children's choir (which B said he wants to do, which is age 4 and up, so next year he can join!).

Me and my lil man

Playing at the mall kid's area with friends

The kid's train outside our mall

Pnut loves the train too!

Mall buddies!

Taking a stroll through the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights

6 weeks Post-Op

2010-12-03T22:29:00.000-08:00

It's been 6 weeks since surgery and I thought I'd post pictures of how his new "ear hole" looks! You can always go back to my previous post of the after surgery pictures and see how incredibly graphic they were. They are even hard for me to look at now. I can honestly say that he has healed so much faster than I thought he would. The site on his scalp where they took the skin graft is healing so well. It's already hard to notice. His ear canal looks amazing! It's weird to think that in 3 months Brennan will have an ear to go along with his new canal. Wow, I still can't believe we are already in the process of B's surgeries. We did so much planning and preparing and here we are, one surgery down and 2 to go. We are so glad we decided to help our little guy!
Here are some pictures of B 6 weeks post-op:

AND!!!...

B enjoying the slide after 6 weeks!!!

These past 2 days have consisted of lots of running, jumping and playing at the park! I must say, I'm kind of worn out chasing him around :)

Free to be 3

2010-12-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

Today was Brennan's 6 week post-op appt. It went incredibly well! The Dr. was impressed with his ear canal and ear drum. He said it looks 100% healed! He said Brennan can go back to normal, everyday activities!!! He's CLEAR!!! He can go to the park, he can run around, he can jump up and down... He can be a 3 1/2 year old boy again!
Yipee! He can start back at his pre-school! He can go to church again! He can have play-dates with friends! He can be "out of my sight" for more than 2 seconds... we might be experiencing some separation anxiety (both him and I).
It is truly an answer to prayer to have such great healing. We are are praying it continues to heal properly and to have no issues with it in the future.
After a total of 5 visits with Dr. Roberson in the past 6 weeks, our next appt. is in 6 months, kind of weird to have it so far away since we have seen him so much and he has been so involved in our little guys amazing little miracle. We are so thankful to have been blessed to have our little guy taken care of so wonderfully by this amazing doctor. We are forever grateful to him!

Also, Brennan had his first hearing test since his surgery. His hearing is overall improved!!! We will know even more in a couple months when he has another hearing test. It is such a blessing to have success with this surgery!

Here are some pictures from today:

Waiting to get his ear checked and cleaned out

The instruments used to clean out his new ear canal

Cleaning out his ear... Monkey came for the visit of course!

Close up picture

In the hearing test booth

With Dr. Roberson

Thanks Dr. Roberson for your amazing talent to help our lil guy hear better!!!

Next step for B... March 1st, Medpor surgery at Cedars Sinai in LA with Dr. Lewin for his new ear!!!

Holiday Cheer

2010-11-30T12:32:00.000-08:00

Throughout our chaotic life... our kids constantly remind me about the important things in life. With everything going on we still had to do our yearly trip to see Santa. As expected, Pnut wasn't too fond of the idea. This picture makes me laugh. It's good to laugh... we need more laughter in our lives.

Psalm 119

2010-11-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

Whenever I am going through something difficult in my life, I am always reminded of this verse: Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path"

This verse was made into a song and I tend to sing it to myself a lot when I am struggling. It reminds me that God is in control and He will lead me through whatever I am going through.
Here are the words to the song:

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path (2x)
When I feel afraid,
And think I've lost my way.
Still, You're there right beside me.
Nothing will I fear
As long as You are near;
Please be near me to the end.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path (2x)
I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus be my guide,
And hold me to Your side,
And I will love you to the end.
Nothing will I fear
As long as You are near;
Please be near me to the end
They word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path."

Through my family's challenging times right now I pray this verse can encourage others to trust in God and search his Word to find His strength and peace as well.

Update on B...

A couple days ago we were finally able to get to the park! He was so excited to get on the swing! We spent a long time there as I pushed him higher and higher and he just laughed and laughed.
Through our recent circumstances, it's amazing how the laughter of a child can bring you back to the enjoyment of life and the little things that really matter.

Makes My Day!!!

2010-11-16T14:08:00.000-08:00

A quote from my hubby's status update on Facebook today...

"Brennan is standing across the room from me, picks up a small squeaker toy and squeezes it while holding it next to his new ear canal. His face immediately lights up and he looks at me and says, "Daddy! I can hear!! I can hear!!" He does it again and again trying to contain his excitement. Makes my day..."

This makes my day too!!! Of all the craziness going on in my life, this makes me happy!!!

AND...

Brennan went to Awana last night, I was with him the whole time kind of like his personal "one-on-one" making sure he didn't jump around, fall, run around... During story time, the leader was speaking on how Jesus healed the lame man and he ended by saying, "and Jesus healed the man and he was all better." And Brennan blurted out really loud, "Just like my ear!"... it was so cute, it made me cry.

Times like these make me look past our hectic life and treasure the small moments that mean the most!

Meeting Auntie Sara!

2010-11-12T20:31:00.000-08:00

We picked up my friend Sara from the airport today. She is from Michigan and here for a week! We have been pen pals since I was 13. We have remained very close through letters and phone calls throughout the years. We have been there for each other from boyfriend breakups, family loss, new jobs... We have been a support system for each other through prayer and encouragement. The very first time we met in person was 2 days before my wedding, and she was a bridesmaid! I consider her one of my closest friends. We haven't seen each other in a few years and this is the first time she is meeting my kiddos! They were excited to meet Auntie Sara!

Here they are waiting for her flight to arrive. We had lunch at a spot where the planes fly overhead and land really close!

B LOVED it!

Waiving to the plane

Such Cuties!

Big one!